There never seems to be enough time in a day. I'm sure you feel it too. Each fresh new day brings a mindful of intentions which I sometimes complete but many times don't.
I have had so much extra on my plate since Chris passed and although I want to get to certain tasks I just haven't had the time. It bothers me a lot. These are new tasks - not things on my "to do" list like retrieving photos off the old computer (which I'm thrilled about I must say) but I'm talking about things that are much more personal and profound, things that have to do with preserving Christopher's memory. Things I would never have expected I might be doing in Chris' honor in February 2013...
In November of 2012 there was nothing on my mind regarding Chris beyond visiting colleges and getting applications in. Well, we were also in search of part time employment for him and had been debating about his going back to work at McGrievy's Restaurant working in the kitchen or in perusing something new to try. He had put several applications out there to work at CVS, Rite Aide and Walgreens since they were all close to home but he had never heard back as of the date of his passing. He knew the money train had ended once the football season was over and if he wanted to put gas in his tank to get to school and Baileys house then a part time job was necessary. He was working on it.
In any event, could you imagine if you, as a parent, were all of a sudden being asked to help put together the guidelines for your child's memorial scholarship? It's a lot to digest. I feel like I'm constantly shaking my head saying "What????" Well, it’s preoccupying my mind. I just can't believe it's for real. It seems like a dream. I need to wrap my head around it and embrace it, which I think I do most of the time. There's typically a window though where it's all just so surreal and too much that I can't handle it. It's too much too soon yet I know time is of the essence in order for a SHEN senior to have time to apply and be awarded the Christopher Stewart Memorial Scholarship this May for the preliminary year.
I'm dumbfounded that so many people and companies contributed to the scholarship. I'm completely blown away by the generosity and humane kindness I've been shown. I can never reach all those I would like to speak with but I will give my humblest attempt at saying THANK YOU for making this scholarship possible. As much as it pains me to spend my time thinking about it rather than focusing on a college choice with Chris, I'm so fortunate to be able to have this opportunity.
I've had an initial meeting with the Administrators at SHEN and am working on the guidelines for the scholarship. I promise to share them once completed because it has been a collaborative effort on your part to make this possible. If you would consider donating to keep the scholarship going I think that would be fabulous. The students are so deserving! I would never have had the means to establish this scholarship if not for the school and the donors. At a time when my attention was focused elsewhere all of you carried me and for that I will always be grateful. My son will continuously be a spoken name at SHEN due to this yearly scholarship.
Time is what I need right now to complete the details of the scholarship fund. I want to get it right. The school districts office will handle the finances, lest anyone wonder, but I have control over the requirements the senior students must possess in order to apply for the award. I'm very pleased about that. Believe me; the applicants will embody the spirit of Christopher. :-)
Although spending my time working on a scholarship is a world away from what I ever would have expected in early 2013 I'm honored to focus my attention on this project. My son was such a wonderful kid and I look forward to sharing him and keeping his memory alive thru the SHEN high school each year.
Thank you for reading.