Friday, February 22, 2013


Another work week has passed and we’re headed into the weekend.  Good and bad in my opinion.

I'm working on focusing forward.  I think I do pretty well.  I try to concentrate on the positives, and there are many, but somehow there seems to be a tug on me in the other direction too.

Christopher worked on Thursday and Saturday nights at McGrievy's Restaurant so Friday night was his favorite.  He knew he had the evening to spend with Bailey and his friends.  I didn't dare schedule family events on Fridays as that was precious time!  This was a hot commodity in Chris' world.

I had texting conversations with him during the school day sometimes.  On Fridays I always asked him the same question "Will you be home for dinner."  Usually he'd ask what I was making... He knew exactly what I was making, homemade pizza.  I did it every week.  The knucklehead was either pushing my buttons or he truly was dingy.  We had that same conversation many times and he knew the answer. I made pizza whether he was home or not.
I always liked it when he would stay home on Friday nights.  When he and Bailey opted to hang at my house and watch movies rather than go somewhere else made me feel special. I was envious of all the time he spent at the Wind's house.  When they honored me with their presence on a Friday night I thought it was great.  
I can’t say I enjoyed their taste in television. They could sit and watch an entire season of the Walking Dead together or horrific, terrorizing movies.  I was always shocked Bailey could stand it.  I tried to watch with them a time or two but it didn't work, not my thing.  I'm sure they were glad I didn't crash their date anyway, I mean it was a Friday!
I used to make the two of them their own pizza on Friday nights.  Chris would be sure to remind me that Bailey only ate cheese. (I knew this, he told me every time).  I'd make one with loads of veggies and theirs plain. Occasionally I'd serve them in the dining room and make myself scarce so they could have a dinner date on me.  I thought that was cute. I'm glad I did.
So Fridays make me sad.  I miss Chris.  I want him to have more Fridays with Bailey and his friends.  I remember the good parts of Fridays and try to dwell on them but it’s hard not to wish for more.  I am thankful and tremendously grateful for the memories, the texts and the conversations.  I'm glad they're still fresh in my mind.  I want so much to make more pizzas and complain to the two of them about their awful taste in TV.  I think they got a kick out of my dramatic dislike of their choices :-)
I didn't make pizza last night.  I didn't feel like it.  I went out for a fish fry.  I know I'll get back into my routine, matter of fact I've made pizza several times since Chris passed and even shared some with one of his football buddies but right now my Fridays aren't normal and everything's out of whack.  I need to adjust to a new normal but it will take time.

On the other hand something very nice happened Friday. I don't know who to thank so all of you get a THANK YOU from me.  I got a gorgeous bouquet of flowers in the mail, from “my readers!” Now that's a wonderful pick-me-up.  What a kind gesture, thank you very much :-). Love that random act of kindness!
Here's hoping I see some of you at the Zumba fundraiser this evening. 5-7pm at ABC Sports in Latham. I'll be the one in the SHEN green tee-shirt attempting to follow the steps. I make no promises as to my ability but I will be there.  Maybe you will too?

Thank you for reading.


  1. My husband and I are sitting here on Saturday morning laughing at the Pizza night interactions... so cute. So true-to-life... so similar to our interactions with our teens. And I can so resonate with you on the TV choices as well (do you know Dance Moms? UGH!). Last night Kristen and her boyfriend Kevin were doing the Wii "Just Dance" and I kept thinking of that video you posted a while back with your guy making his moves... Made me smile. I needed it on a Friday... after a difficult work week (how DO people do it working with people who hold them in contempt day-after-day. Such a de-energizer). But thinking of our broods, and your energy, brings me back to ground and living in gratitude. So thanks as always for sharing... even when it is difficult.

  2. Regina,

    Good morning! Thanks for sharing yet another day and night with Chris(in this case Friday nights) with us! The more I read your blog the more it actually feels like I can visualize being there having pizza, it warms my heart! And your pizza looks deliscious!!!

    Blog reader who sent the flowers...YOU ROCK!!!!!Thank you from all of us!! A random act of kindness with no need for recognition is the truest form of did it just to do it and we are grateful!!!

    Have a great day Regina... :)

    God Bless, XO

  3. Regina....the flowers are beautiful....what an awesome random acts of kindess! Loved today's post. My cell phone rings most weekdays about 4:30 and the conversation goes like this:

    Me: Hi Connor
    Connor: Hi Mommy. What's for dinner?
    Me: I tell him the meal planned for that night.
    Connor: When are you going to be home and what time are we eating? I am starving!
    Me: I tell the time and as always....why don't out have a salad and some fruit to hold you over.

    Gotta love our teenage boys! Homemade pizza is biggie in our house and funnily is what we're having for dinner tonight. Five peoplee, so many different combos! Your pizza looks delcious!

    I can totally relate to the differences in TV/movie taste. While we have some in common, I don't get Walking Dead or the whole zombie phenominom, or reality TV!

    Thanks once again for allowing us an other glimpse into your and Chris's life.

    Have fun at zumba!
    hugs and peace

  4. Regina, I'm so sorry you have been forced to find a new normal and your routine has been uprooted. While I love reading and acknowledging the stories you share about Chris, Chris and Bailey, Chris and his friends, and your routines with Chris, it breaks my heart. I feel so helpless and at a loss for words sometimes because there just are none. So all I can say is I'm sorry you had to change your routine. Although I didn't ever meet Chris, I now have met you and I hate to think of you having to change your routine and be sad about all that has changed.

    Joel Osteen says: You may not be able to do this in your own strength, but that’s okay. When you are weak, He is strong. When you don’t see a way, God has a way.

    I find it extremely brave that you can open up on this blog, to virtual strangers and share such deep emotions. I read it, I hurt for you, I mull over what to say for hours sometimes and then it makes me want to drive over and try to fix things for you. I know that's not realistic, but I have a hard time when I hear (or read in this case) when someone is struggling and my nature it to try to be there or fix it...

    I was hoping to get to the fundraiser tonight, mostly to just say hi and be there for support, but the competition today took a lot out of us. I have a very expensive travel week coming up and I'm trying to save as many pennies as I can. I promise to try to make the next one. As I type this, I hope you are there smiling and laughing and pulling off some Chris moves and the endorphins that are released by all that exercise help, even if for a short while. I hope you got lots of hugs and support, which I'm sure you did!

    The flowers you received are lovely. I love when people do random acts of kindness! That was beautiful.

    God bless...

  5. I love seeing the pictures of Bailey and Chris. I love that cameras are easily accessible and everyone can take picture after picture and have that many more memories. My daughter and her boyfriend had a photo shoot the other night with her camera. I thought it was the cutest thing ever. :)

    The next time my husband makes pizza I will think of you and say hello to Chris :)