Friday, May 10, 2013

Senior Prom

There's a big event coming up this weekend and my heart is heavy.  Senior prom...
I remember going to prom each year in high school.  It was so exciting to dress up, find the perfect gown and head out for a magical night.  It was Cinderella-ish. What annoying fun it was to pose for all the photos with parents calling out "look over here" or "just one more in case that one didn't come out".

Spending time figuring out how to wear our hair, what shoes would be comfortable to walk in, knowing a jacket was necessary but not wanting to wear one for fear of covering the beautiful dress. Yes, I remember.

I also recall the dapper guys! Stunning tuxedos (even if they did wear powder blue in 1981!) and spiffy shoes.  They all cleaned up so nice.  Proms were a lot of fun.

One of my favorite things to do was take in all the gorgeous gowns once we arrived.  The sea of colors and styles were just so beautiful.
This year I'll be participating in pre-prom photos but from a very different position.  My son won't be going.  Well... Not physically.  I do believe, however, that he wouldn't miss it.  He'll be there with his best pals and his best girl.  I'd bet anyone on it and I would win.  Chris will be there for all of it, for pictures, in the limo and at the venue.  This is a special night!
One of Christopher's best friends, Alan, has asked Bailey to the SHEN senior prom.  I couldn't be more proud.  My son would be so happy - he IS happy.  They will all be there together and that is just a wonderful feeling for me.  I'm glad to participate in pre-prom festivities and will fight thru my feelings of grief.  I wavered back and forth for a long time and was on the fence about showing up or running in the other direction.  I know I need to be where my son would want me and so I will be there.  The kids will get a kiss from me and a gigantic hug.  I'm so incredibly proud of them.  
I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around my loss.  These events are so jolting and surreal. They're like a frightening, repetitive wake up call.  We purposely bought Chris a tux last year because we knew he had four proms to attend between junior and senior year (Shaker and SHEN). Purchasing was less expensive than renting four times.  All we knew we needed to invest in was a new vest to go with each of Bailey's dresses.  We thought it was a good idea. We only got two uses out of the tux. Well, Chris did anyway.  
But guess what? Although Chris isn't going to the prom, his tuxedo is!  Alan and Chris (both linemen) have the same build.  We gave Alan the tuxedo with our heartfelt blessings in knowing how meaningful it would be to us for him to wear it on prom night.  He was so glad to receive it!  We couldn't be more proud of Alan, Bailey and all the students for pushing forward and enjoying this senior event even with the sadness of Chris and Deanna being gone. We want the kids to continue on. Our hearts would be broken worse if they skipped it!
To the SHEN Class of 2013 please enjoy your night with gladness.  Be safe in your choices and your driving and embrace the entire night.
And if you should see Alan tearing up the dance floor like nobody's business, it's a safe bet that Chris has something to do with it. That boy loved to dance!!

Thank you for reading.