I believe this blog to be a Godsend. I know I've mentioned to you several times that I never wrote a post anywhere other than a Facebook status on my personal page before Chris passed and that's true. I had created a Twitter account a while ago, just so I could say I had one but it had never been used. I wasn't even sure how to tweet, had no followers of my own but had picked a few celebrities and some TV news to follow.
Fast forward to now and it's easy to see how far I've come with social media and communicating with you. The relationships built would never have happened in person, we just don't see one another in our busy lives and most of us didn't know each other prior to December 1st.
My personal Facebook page has grown with friends and extended family - which is wonderful. The RIP Chris Stewart Facebook page has over 22,000 "likes" (which was created by one of Chris's friends - thank you Alexandra!) and my Twitter account has 700 followers plus I'm now following 99 of you! It’s mostly high school students who allow me into their world. I can't believe it but I love it! I think it's heart-warming that we have come together and I'm glad to say there has been very little that has come thru in a negative manner. Most everyone has been genuinely kind, considerate and comforting. That has been great for all of us.
So, back to being being busy and this blog. I need to let you know that this will be the last of my daily blogs. I'm not shutting it down! Don't worry about that. I know many of you start your day reading it and checking on me and I love that. I think it's wonderful that I provide something you enjoy and find comfort in. I promise I will continue BUT, it won't be daily anymore. I can't commit to keeping up with it daily. It takes time and effort and I prefer what I write to be quality. I don't want to feel compelled to write something and lose the essence of why I write.
I think it's important that you know what I'm thinking and why I've opted to change things going forward. I've invited you into my "brain" and my world and so I will continue. This has and is a new journey for US. It hasn't ended, nor will it ever (for me anyway).
Although I'm no psychologist, I do know I began this blog as my public journal probably out of sheer panic over the loss of Chris. I was petrified I would forget the details about my son if I didn't get them down on paper. I felt compelled to tell everyone about him too. He was the nicest kid in the world. I had so much swirling around in my head I needed to get it out. Silly but irrational that I would forget the memories but three months ago I was in a different place mentally and emotionally than I am now. Why would I ever forget seventeen years of experiences with my child? I guess my brain went haywire not that it's fabulous now by any means! My mind processes very differently these days. But, I never would have begun blogging had it not been suggested to me and set up for me. It couldn't have been any easier with the help I had from my friend. I'm so happy that we've come to know one another. For that I'm grateful and forever appreciative to every single one of you for welcoming me in and embracing me and my family.
I do think I might possibly have grabbed a spiral notebook and started writing in it at some point but typing at the computer is quicker as compared to writing long hand. Who even does that much anymore? My handwriting has become atrocious. Typing on a keyboard is what I do daily, same as you I suspect so this whole blog idea was easy and immediate.
I will continue this blog but I don't know how often, other than to say at least once weekly. If inspiration or a story hits me three days in a row then that's what you'll see, but I don't feel the burning desire to share so desperately every day now. I tend to think that must be a good thing in the healing process! Maybe I'm not quite so panicky anymore?
I noticed the other day that I was worrying about what I was going to write and I concluded that forcing myself to think of something meant it wasn't genuinely flowing. I don't want to feel obligated to talk or worried you need something to read but at the same time we have come to rely on one another! Many of you reply daily. I look for your comments as much as you might look for mine. I also KNOW many of you read all the replies and look for those too! Don't tell me you don't want to see Hannah Cowley's or Justine Duncan's reply. You do!! I do too!!! Justine writes more than I do and Hannah is so darn sweet every single one of us adores her! None of us would have met if not for social media. I go back at the end of the day to scan the replies again to be sure I didn't miss any. Maybe you do too.
This blog, chrisstewart69.blogspot.com, the RIP Chris Stewart Facebook page and my Twitter page (@r_yakel_stewart) will remain. There is always a way to reach out to me if you want but just because I'm quiet one day doesn't mean I've forgotten you! You are always welcome to send a post of your own because I am not going anywhere. I'm just reducing the time I dedicate to writing because life is demanding that I pay attention to it again!
I promise to write still and I pray you'll write to me. This friendship continues! As always....
Thank you for reading!