Friday, March 1, 2013

3 Months



Well, today it's been three months since the accident.  Yes, I pay attention to the time.  How could I not?  The first of every month is not too difficult to remember.  I flip the calendar page and check off another month without my son.
I feel like he's just away right now, visiting a friend or staying at a buddies house.  Actually he is isn't he?  I keep expecting him to come home, to thud thru the house in his noisy Christopher way because he was a big boy with a heavy step.  He could never have been a burglar, he wasn't stealthy enough.  
His size 14 shoes were clunky and he rarely tied them.
I used to joke with him that he could never be a surgeon because his fingers were like sausages.  They weren't nimble.  I used to ask him to help me with my necklaces in the morning and he'd grumble behind my back as he fought with the clasp.  He'd crack me up practically swearing at the jewelry because he had so much trouble helping me.  
Well, no more worries about that Chris, I don't change my necklaces anymore.  The only ones I wear are the cross the coroner took off your neck and a pair of angel wings.  I'm going to keep them on and hold you close.
 
Rest easy Chris, my beautiful boy.  Visit me when you can and feel all my love.  You were a Godsend to me (to us) and I miss you, WE miss you!

Thank you for reading

28 comments:

  1. Mrs. Stewart-
    I know all too well how checking off the months feels. It's stupid and I thought about texting you or messaging you or something because I was so upset last night, but I figured you had bigger fish to fry. It upsets me so much that there is no 29th day in February. Nana went to heaven on August 29th, 2012, yet there's no 29th of February to mark 6 months. I felt so lost last night without a date, and I can't even explain why. I think it's a control thing... I need to know that without fail that date will come each and every month, but it doesn't. I called a friend babbling endlessly about how I don't know how much time has passed without that date. It all sounds so stupid now, but I totally understand the importance of the ritual of checking off the months. I wish we didn't have to measure time this way. But, once again, you're not alone. I understand.

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  2. For months after my grandma died I hated the heaviness of Thursdays. It made me want to rewind, back to when she was alive, all before I knew the pain of loosing someone so close. I will let my words be few, Mrs. Stewart, we are so sorry for your loss today, and everyday...I hold onto this hope in my own suffering, "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away" Revelation 21:4.

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  3. My thoughts are with you and your family.

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  4. Regina,
    You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I will think of Chris and your family today on this first day of March. I hope the winds are not bringing March "in like a lion" and you are filled with warmth today.
    May God Bless you and yours!

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  5. As I logged on to my IPad I noticed the date myself and thought wow today is 3 months since we all lost two beautiful Angels... Chris is always in my thoughts n prayers, as well as all of you are... Peace n Love always xxx

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  6. Good morning Mrs Stewart....please know all of the 518 community continue to hold you in our embrace & provide.support. To you, each of your family members and the other families to whom this tragedy was bestowed upon please be aware you are all in our daily thoughts & prayers.

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  7. My thoughts are with you especially more today. I just wanted to you a little thing my mom told me yesterday. My stepdad passed away almost 7 years ago. Mom told me the other night she swore she heard him calling her name, mind you she is extremely hard of hearing she has to have her hearing aid in just to be able to hear the phone ring. The day she told me it happened was Valentines day. That was their 20th wedding anniversary. She was feeling very sad that day between being her anniversary and having to put down her beloved cat in November. As she was telling me I could see the joy on her face. I think I just wanted to say that when you least expect it or when you are feeling really sad our loved one's are there. Thank you for sharing and God bless

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  8. That was so simple and yet so perfectly written...... I can't put the usually little heart on your blog, so just know that is how I, and I am sure so many others feel!!!.. xoxo

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  9. Regina - I am thinking of you and your family today. Three months and a Friday! Tons and tons of virtual hugs and love today!

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  10. Thinking of you and your family today. Know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers

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  11. Regina,

    I am openly crying as I read this blog. I know how difficult every first of the month must be for you. My heart tugs for your loss.

    Today especially, you see today marks the 5th anniversary of the death of my friends great nephew Aadon Blu Olmsted. He will be forever 3yrs old; he came to the end of his 100% at the hands of his mothers’ boyfriend. I drive around with a child abuse awareness ribbon on the back of my car. He was just an amazing little boy with royal blue eyes and a quirky smile, and the ability to steal any ones heart the minute they met him.

    He fell victim on February 6th; he then finally rested on March 1st. There were around 300 people gathered at a benefit in his honor. It started at 1:00pm; Aadon "Blu" as we liked to call him went home at 1:12pm. It was so fitting that he chose then to leave us (I like to think it was then he chose to join us, he wanted to be where we were) It was wonderful that so many people were there to comfort each other. We prayed for him to go home on February 29th (it was leap year) so his anniversary would only arrive once every 4 years, but he had his own plans, he wanted to stay around for us so he could have his own day for him to be remembered. And that we do!

    So Regina, I give you a cyber hug today {{{hug}}} and I ask that today when you think of Chris you think of our little boy “Blu” on his 5th anniversary and hopefully the two of them have found each other in heaven and knowing Chris’s compassion for little kids (from all the pictures of him with Bailey’s cousins) I am sure they are together and the conversation is centered on Aadon’s favorite super hero Spiderman!

    God Bless, XO

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    1. this you are not a robot thing is freaky...my code today was emstead Aadon's last name is Olmsted(although it is not spelled exactly the same this code was feakishly close...) Love you Blu...XO

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  13. My thoughts are with you today. God Bless.

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  14. Regina, may God bless you and Christopher. May he be with you in spirit today and every day <3

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  15. Rest in Peace, Chris and Deanna. So loved, so cherished and so missed. Thinking of you all with love and prayers, today and always. Thank you for sharing.

    Anne

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  16. Thoughts and prayers are with you today and every day.

    Rest in Peace Chris and Deanna.

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  17. Hi Regina,

    You're in my thoughts and prayers.

    Hugs, Ann

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  18. Good Morning everyone,

    I am posting this for Justine. She is only able to read the blog and responses right now, her phone is not allowing her to post...She would like to send her heartfelt thanks to everyone for the prayers. She and Ally are able to meet with her dad and have lunch with him today! She is very thankful for all thoughts and prayers...

    God Bless

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    1. Annie143,

      Please let Justine and Ally know I am so happy her prayers were answered and every thing worked out for them!

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  19. Hugs, love, thoughts and prayers for you and your family today.

    it's Friday and I am eating pizza for dinner and saying hello to Chris

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  20. Prayers always.
    Thinking of Chris,Deanna,Matt and Bailey. All friends and families

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  21. As always my thoughts and prayers are wifh you.

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  22. Regina, I'm still reading and I am still sending as much positive energy to you as I can. I feel I know you now as I read your words every day. Your son has an incredible mom. You are a wonder, Regina and someday we will meet. You have awakened my soul to be ever conscious to simple daily interactions with both my sons. You have single handedly improved our relationships as they also,......both of them, read your blogs. We are all on the same page here in my house and it is all about cherishing each other. Thank you Regina......thank you.

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  23. Regina,

    I thought about you many times yesterday and the day before knowing that March 1 was 3 months.
    I was trying to find some words of comfort but came up empty.
    Just wanted to let you know that I care.
    Sending you lots of love, support and hugs...

    Sharon

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  24. Regina,

    I thought about all of you all day yesterday.

    hugs and peace

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