Monday, December 24, 2012

Christmas Eves past


Being that it's Christmas Eve I'm reminded of the really great times we had when the kids were little. The years of traditional gatherings that, at the time, I didn't realize would mean so much.  I was reminiscing about them today and they made me smile.  I bet you have your own - or maybe you haven't begun them yet - but I thought I'd share ours.

When we first had Jeremy we made a decision that we would stay home each Christmas Day.  We opened our house to family and friends but we were determined to stay put.  I'm sure, like many of you, we didn't want to rush around dragging the kids from place to place.  We wanted them to be able to play with their new toys, watch their new videos, etc.  That meant any visiting was to be done on Christmas Eve.  Thing was, Mike had an Aunt who always hosted Christmas Eve so I married into the tradition right away.  We knew our yearly plans so there was no guesswork as to what was happening where.  We didn't need to think about invitations that came our way because these were two calendared days that weren't flexible.

Aunt Patricia (we called her Treesh) had a tiny three bedroom apartment that she rented in Troy, walking distance to RPI.  She had no driveway for parking, not enough room for all the guests, hot water radiator heat that was always turned up too high and a kitchen without any counter space. Anything that needed doing was done at the kitchen table.  That poor table acted as bar, prep area, dish drying space and coffee pot holder.  Truly, we couldn't maneuver freely.  Once each person secured a spot they didn't do too much moving.  If something was needed somebody further down the line would get it and pass it forward.

The dinner menu was consistent.  Cold cut platter, ambrosia, mac salad, cheese and crackers, onion dip and chips, pigs in blankets and little hot dogs drowning in warm barbeque sauce.  Dessert was typically Little Debbie's store bought cookies (with some homemade added).  The appetizer was my favorite though, stuffed clams - they were the best!  

Christopher was such a cut up as a youngster that we would leave him with Treesh while we went to Christmas Eve mass.  Jeremy sat quietly in the pew but Chris was under the pew more than on it.  I'm sure plenty of you know what it's like to stifle a little one during the quiet of church services.  They can cause such a scene and they know they're doing it when you can't truly respond in the manner you'd like... So enraging!!! We learned early not to take him; it wasn't worth the frustration or the sweat he caused.  By chance, however, Treesh lived directly across from St. Paul's church.  I think it's on Hutton Street? Right near the Knotty Pine Restaurant. Well, Treesh made a habit of watching Chris so we could attend service which also meant we got prime off-street parking dibs since we got there so much earlier than the rest of the family.  They didn't go with us to church.  That worked for us!  Seemed every year we’d hear the same complaints about not being able to find a parking spot. We didn't have that trouble.

Treesh opened all her gifts on Christmas Eve admiring every one.  She'd sit on the floor by her tree. A very artificial one, I'm talking 1950's plastic fake with the wide limbs that looked like roller bristles! It always looked the same, with a variety of decorations mostly made by her mother.  We were used to it and would have been shocked to see anything else :-) The little kids were about the only ones able to squeeze thru the stuffed path of seated adults between the living room and dining room so they did the running delivering her gifts to her.  They always fought over helping her unwrap.  As if they weren't going to get their chance the next morning???  It didn't matter they'd get right in there fussing to be the assistant or get a better view of the gift.  They were also delivery helpers because Treesh gave everyone presents too.  She would read the sticker, find the recipient and point the child to the person they needed to hand the gift over to.  The little ones always got confused as to who was who so she made it easy for them by pointing.

For whatever reason, Treesh gave us all the same gift yearly.  I'm thinking maybe because she could buy them in bulk? I don't know. However, every year we got a pair of socks.  It was a running joke. They came in handy though.  Who doesn't need socks? Traditions are fun, our Christmas Eves were great.

Aunt Treesh passed away a few years back.  We put socks in her coffin with her :-)

Whatever your Christmas Eve and Christmas Day plans are, I hope they're wonderful.  I'm so thankful for the years I got to spend with family, creating memories to cherish.  I want more but I've got plenty to dwell on.  This will be a tough one for me, for my family and for Christopher's friends who can't grasp what has happened.  I pray you'll spend a moment and give us strength.  We could use it.  I hope you remember your traditions past and present and cherish them.  I also hope you'll find some joy, like I do, in knowing he's with his Aunt Treesh once again, in their socks at Jesus' birthday party.  That's something special.

Merry Christmas and thank you for reading.



 

28 comments:

  1. Merry Christmas Regina. Will be thinking of you and your family and also Deanna's family this holiday season. God Bless. Ellen

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  2. I keep you and your family in my prayers every day, and I wish you peace and stength even more during these next few days as you navigate a "new normal". I hope you smile and laugh and feel your sweet boy's presence. He's always with you. Merry Christmas. Thank you for the gift you give us all with your stories. P.S. - Just read yesterday's blog...thanks...starving now. ;-)

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  3. Keeping you and your family as well as the Wind, Rivers and Hardy families in my thoughts and prayers everyday but certainly over the next few days.
    I hope you'll be able to find some comfort and strength knowing Chris is watching over you. He'll always be with you.
    Merry Christmas and God Bless

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  4. Blessings to you and your family this Christmas. It will be a tough one, you are a brave and a wise woman, facing your grief head on, choosing to be thankful for what you did have with your son and family. I have changed over these 5 years since my husband passed....I have grown, I have become more patient, more loving, more forgiving and I live every day to the best of my ability. I have many happy memories and I'm thankful for what our family had. My son, 19 and daughter 17, lost their dad, that makes me sad but they have grown to be wonderful young adults and I am so, very thankful I have them. In your grief, a deep and gut-wrenching grief, you give. Thank you for that. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family....keep writing.

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  5. Merry Christmas to you and your family. I think about you and your Family and the Rivers Family. Along with Matt and Bailey. I pray for you guys and I hope you can find strength that Chris is with you guys in spirit. Please know that your blogs give many people strength and some peace.
    God Bless and Merry Christmas
    Nerissa

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  6. You and your family and friends are in my thoughts this holiday season. Merry Christmas Regina!

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  7. I have read your blog daily. I find inspiration and wonderful anecdotes for me to use in my life raising two small children. Our family wishes your family a very Merry Christmas. I personally know how tough the "firsts" are after losing a loved one especially so close to the Holidays. Thoughts and prayers for your family and the Rivers, Wind and Hardy families. Thank you for the glimpse we get of Chris and the great of your family.

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  8. Those sure were the days. Merry Christmas .♥

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  9. Oh...today you brought me back. What a wonderful memory for you! Reading it brings back memories of my own, too. The Christmas Eve's spent in the over crowed flats in Troy (my family lived in one of them). Aunts, Uncles, friends cousins, cookies, presents, food, noise...all "smushed" into narrow rooms that certainly weren't designed to fit more than four to six people comfortably. How I wish that were all still happening tonight...but...Christmas Eve 2012 will be a quiet one for us tonight as well, however, I am so thankful that I still have the memories to cherish.
    I will continue to pray for your family, as well as all the other families that have lost loved ones this year. God give us all the strength, peace, and hope to move through this Holy Season. God Bless you and know that your Special Angel is right by your side. Merry Christmas!

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  10. Thank you for sharing your memories. The strength and grace you pass on to others through your own tragedy amaze me every day. We have never had "every year" traditions--our lives are pretty flexible--but we are always together. Today all 5 of my kids will be here, a rare occasion now that they are all college-age or older, and I will cherish every loud, messy, chaotic minute with them. Your entries have helped me reorder what's important in life and for that I am grateful. My thoughts and prayers have been with you and the Rivers' family throughout this holiday season and will continue. May you have a blessed Christmas that Treesh and Chris would be proud of.

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  11. Merry Christmas! May you feel your sons warmth wrapped around you, God bless!

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  12. Merry Christmas Regina. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Deanna's family. May God bless you. Christopher will be there with you warming your heart and wrapping his arms around you.

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  13. Thank you for sharing your memories of Christmas Eves past with your family. I come from a family of five and my mom has 19 grandchildren. On Christmas, most of us gather at her house and it's a zoo. My one sister lives out of state, so she doesn't make it here on Christmas but we'll celebrate with her in January. Like your family, we too have traditions. Once again, today I cried and laughed (socks in the coffin...too funny) while reading your blog. Each day I try to be more patient with my family, especially my two teenage boys, who can be exasperating at times! But I think about you and I know it's not worth sweating the small stuff so I take a deep breath and instead of screaming try to calmly ask them for the umpteenth time to do the chore I've assigned them.

    As a parent I can't begin to imagine how hard the firsts are for you and your family. So I will pray for all of you, and the Rivers, Wind and Hardy families, as well as, your extended families and all the friends this holiday season. I will pray you find some peace and some happiness in your memories.

    Merry Christmas to you and your family Regina. I'm sure your special angel, Chris, is watching over you and smiling down upon all of you.

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  14. I am just a stranger to your family, who like many in the capital region has watched the events that have taken your son's life, unfold. Reading your heart felt words touches me to the depths of my soul every day that you post. Your son was and still is a truly lucky young man. I am not a religious person, but I do believe that he is still with you. That gust of wind that comes out of nowhere is him just messing with you. That rainbow that comes out of nowhere is him hugging you. And that one little butterfly that follows you around is him letting you know he's still with you and loves you very much.

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  15. Perusing the early bird posts so far -- I hope you realize what a great thing you are doing in sharing Chris' memories with readers far and wide as well as encouraging them to share their own well-tucked holiday musings that you have stirred deep in their souls. That is the real magic of a blog -- the fact that it has emerged from something so unspeakably tragic makes it even more magical. It is a blessing and curse that Chris will remain forever young in your online vignettes...all part of God's plan...and a journey we are so fortunate to take with you. May the blessings and peace of your darling sock clad boy's "first" Christmas in heaven be yours.

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  16. Merry Christmas, Regina. I have already been praying for you, your family and Deanna's family. You will be in my thoughts and prayers for a long time to come, but especially over the next week or so. Thank you for sharing so openly your journey through the uncharted waters you find yourself in. I know first hand that the days ahead will be difficult, but feel assured that your courage, willingness to share with and care for Chris' friends and your obvious strength will see you though. God Bless you and your family this Christmas season!

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  17. merry Christmas....I hope your special Christmas angel is able to make a visit!

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  18. Merry Christmas to all of you. I will pray for you and your family, today and always Regina.

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  19. Prayed for you last night, and I kid you not, I had a dream about Chris. I don't know him or your family, but when I fell asleep, I saw his face. I can't remember everything, but I asked him why he was coming to me. All he said was, "Thanks."
    For this, I'll keep praying. He appreciates it, I know, because there's only so much even he, with his angel wings, can do.

    Peace to you and peace on Earth. Merry Christmas
    Hannah Cowley

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  20. Merry Christmas I hope chris comes to you in your dreams<3

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  21. I know too well the difficulties of losing someone near the holidays, my brother was 20 when he died in a car accident on his way to work, 39 years ago December 14,1973. You are in my prayers. I will not wish you a merry Christmas, as you are all still in mourning, I wish you however, peace, love and family support to "get through" this first holiday. My mother was a pilar of strength and hope for the children she still had in her charges. I was 10 the youngest, my brother at 20 was the oldest. You too are that strength I can tell by your writings. You are amazing and you are in my thoughts through this difficult first Christmas. God Bless you and may the peace of the newborn savior be your in abundance!

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  22. God Bless you and your family at this time of healing. I pray for you daily and I know God is with you...giving you the strength you need.
    Peace, Harmony, and Abundance

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  23. Merry Christmas to you. Last year was our first without our 17 year old son Tyler. Finding his ornaments, stocking, etc. was heart wrenching. This year he has a special place on our tree as decorated by his little sister. Thank you for sharing your memories.
    Erin Jarosz

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  24. Regina, I read your blog first thing in the morning and often have to wait hours before I write back. Today was the longest it took me to formulate what I wanted to say, and I still feel as though I don't have it all, but today is almost over...

    As in most days, as I go about my day I think about you and your family. I pray for you daily and think of you often. Tomorrow will be another day that I will be praying for you and your whole family.

    As far as traditions, every time I think we are going to have a tradition, something changes the path for us, so we just do what feels right each year, and there are no plans... the only plan is there is no plan. I do have many memories of Christmas Eve at my Aunt's house when I was younger but my life has changed so many times in the past 25 years, we never could establish 1 solid, long standing tradition. But I know every year in the past has been memorable for some reason.

    Since my 2 children are older, we do what works for the moment. Tomorrow, on Christmas Day, my daughter and I will be volunteering at the Military Courtesy Room from 8 - 12 and the remainder of the day will be spent with family. We made the most of our day today because my son wasn't working, but he will be working tomorrow evening.

    Prayers are with you and your family as you go about your Christmas day... there are no words, so I will just pray...

    God bless...

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  25. Peace, love, friendship and lots of memories, I wish for you during the Holiday. Always thinking about you, your family, Jeremy and Chris...rest his soul. Be blessed. Lela

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  26. Our hearts are just so sorry. Life is precious, I am glad our memories are the place where our hearts hold dear what is always ours to have. I believe that love never dies, the soul lives on and on, forever and beyond. Eternity lasts for just that, forever, in the next life when we meet again, we will never be seperated.

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  27. Merry Christmas Regina I love reading your blog and I always take with me little pieces of your wisdom I have a two kids a boy and girl 5and 2. I look up to you you and your family have been in my prayers every single day and they will continue to be Merry Christmas

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  28. I'm a little late but....Merry Christmas. I thought of you and your family throughout the day. I hope you were able to smile at least once. (((hugs)))

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