Signs

I’ve always been one to believe that there are signs all around us when it comes to communicating with loved ones lost.  I think we even receive signs from those we don’t know but have something to share.  Just my view.

Some things have happened since Chris passed and they bring me comfort.  Maybe you’ll agree.  I find them to unique to be coincidence.  Let me share.

The first sign was not too long after Chris passed.  Mike was feeling lousy with a bronchial issue (in addition to his heartache) and went to the doctor.  Of course it was a rainy, dreary day.  When he came out all four of his car windows were down and his sunroof was wide open!  Rain pouring  in.  Thanks Chris, some joke on your poor dad who was already under the weather!!  It was impossible that Mike accidentally did that, cars these days are all computerized.  The car would have had to be turned on to lower the windows not to mention the sunroof is a completely different button unrelated to the window device.

Next came a gorgeous wreath that the Shellenback’s made for us.  SHEN green and white ribbon with a picture of each graduating varsity football player, twenty-six of them this year.  They positioned Chris at the top and all around the wreath are his teammates, each photo inscribed with the nickname Chris called each one.  Not wanting anything to happen to the wreath we secured it to the stairwell railing with duct tape.  The silver stuff that doesn’t ever seem to come off.  You know how it works, you need to tug the roll to use it and work just as hard when removing it.  It was snugly wrapped. 

Or so we thought… next morning we found the wreath on the floor.  We quickly put it back where it was.  It hasn't fallen again.  You need to leave that alone Christopher!

There was a little brown ant on my counter the other day.  Ants in December?  I figured someone spilled something sweet so before I had an army show up I wiped the counter down.  I moved the microwave to clean underneath it and here’s a note I found.  I was so happy!  I usually throw those notes away for cluttering up my counter space.   This was from the middle of November when Chris stayed home because he wasn’t feeling well.  Turned out to be an ear infection plus his knuckles were banged up from his All Star game.  Great note, so glad for that little ant!

I’ll continue… I went to Christmas Eve mass with The Hardy’s and the Wind’s.  A new place I have never been but Pat Hardy invited us and I couldn’t think of anything nicer or anyone more I’d rather be with than Matt and Bailey!  The service was fabulous.  Emotional of course, we fully expected, but amazing and profound.  Christmas has a new meaning.  Toward the end of the mass I smelled body odor… what you might expect when so many people are in an enclosed space.  It came and went.  It wasn’t anything I dwelled on.  I went out to eat afterwards, of course to the Halfmoon Diner.  I smelled it again.  I thought maybe it was me!  I knew I showered and used deodorant.  Even in my sadness I have basic cleansing skill for heaven’s sake.   I forgot about it again, it didn’t linger long.  Went home to settle in on Christmas Eve and take some deep breaths to deal with all the day had brought.  The smell came back.  This time it occurred to me my son was nearby.  It was his sweaty football body that was with me!  Why hadn’t I realized from the start?  I used to tease him about how bad he smelled and that I couldn’t wait for him to get his own car so he’d stop stinking up mine.  I like the smell he brought to me.  He was kind enough only to let it pass my nose briefly which I appreciated.

At 4pm on Christmas eve a very close friend, who knew Christopher very well, was sitting at home.  He was thinking about Christopher and praying for me as the sun was setting.  As if on cue he noticed 2 deer wandering thru his backyard stopping to nibble on some left over pumpkins in the garden. When he walked out into the yard to get closer look, instead of running off into the woods, they stood and stared at him a short distance away, only to slowly disappear into the forest beyond minutes later. These were the only deer to visit his yard this year.

Yesterday I went to my sister’s house for Christmas dinner.  We had a nice, quiet meal with my mom, brother, niece and nephew.  Upon arrival my sister told me to leave my coat on and took me in the yard.  I wasn’t aware of this but the Monday after Christopher passed (two days later) she had some trees taken down.  When she went to inspect the progress of the removal, this is what she saw:

She told me she knew Chris was alright but she had been praying to him and to God for a sign.  I’d say this was one!  Actually every single tree she had down had a different kind of angel on it.  There had to be ten or more.  The tree guy told her this was called the “heart of the tree”.  It sure is!  She had him cut the remaining log into slices so we could keep him close forever.  

Lastly, I started back to work today and when I went to log in I couldn’t remember my new password.  It had expired at the end of November.  I keep a little cheat sheet of sorts with all my login information because there are so many different passwords for the multitude of accounts we use.  What had I changed it to?  CORTLAND2017.

Safe to say where Chris would have been going to school.

I plan to remain open to signs in hopes Chris comes to me often.  I also hope to dream of him so I can see his face.  I don’t know if you subscribe to this sort of thing but it brings me comfort.  I hope it brings you some too.

Thank you for reading.