A note to my son

Hey Chris, I haven't ever taken the time to write to you.  I talk to you a lot but thought I might put a few things in writing.

I'm wondering if you watched the Super Bowl?  I was rooting for the 49er's because your cousin Bob liked them.  If I had to guess I would say that the two of you might even have been in New Orleans to see the game up close.  Are you able to move from place to place quickly?  I like it when you're home with me but I understand your need to go other places too.  There are so many of us who want you near.

Do you know that I confiscated your new lounge pants and I wear them every night?  Do you think it's funny that even when I pull the drawstring as tight as I can the XL pants hang off of me?  I practically trip with each step but I don't care.  I remember the day you brought them home... when you went Black Friday shopping with the Wind's.  You were so excited at your $12 bargain at Marshall's that you wore them out to dinner that night!  I even sent a text to Mrs. Wind after you left the house and told her "I don't dress him anymore!"  I thought she would be mortified for you to walk into Chili's in pajama-like pants but she texted me back and thought it was hysterical.  We loved your carefree attitude.

Chris, do you know how much I miss that your car is gone from out front and that I secretly loved filling your tank each week even though I gave you grief at how expensive it was to keep you?  Do you know you were a true joy in my life and I that I miss you desperately? Do you miss me back or are you blissfully happy where you are?

Dad and I were so happy to bring home the gorgeous trophy you earned this football season.  Did you take a good look at it?  Did you feel how heavy it is?  Are you as proud as we are?  Do you know Coach Clawson and I text each other about you sometimes and we're a couple of your biggest fans?  He told me he doesn't give his cell out freely but he trusted you and knew if he needed the team to know something you would share it for him.  You never let him down.

Hey Chris, did you know Bailey and I spent time hanging out in your room yesterday and that we love talking about you?  Aren't you proud that she's back on the diving board, she got her brace off, she can drive once again and is healing nicely!  Will you do me a favor and stay close to her so she always feel your presence?  But be sure to come see me sometimes too.

Do you know that I still have a pantry full of your snacks?  I haven't eaten them and I haven't given them away.  They may turn into bird seed because I just can't figure out the best thing to do with them.  Nothing seems right; you loved your snack cabinet.  I always kept it stocked for you and nothing would please me more than to open the doors to see you've been into the packages and helped yourself.

Chris, do you know that I bought a new container of chocolate milk this week because you love it?  The one you left behind was spoiled and sour, I had to toss it down the sink.  I promise I'll drink this bottle, a little every day in your honor.  I like chocolate milk.

Did you see me light a Chinese lantern for you last night?  I'm sure you know it got stuck in the tree... it's still there.  You're a prankster.  I was trying to have a moment with you and I was somber but you made me giggle.  I was afraid you might light the tree on fire and I'd have to call the fire station.  Why did you lighten my moment? 

Christopher, do you know how much your classmates miss you?  How many people pray for you every day and that your family loves you deeply?  Do you hang out with us or are you busy doing God's work and helping others?  I know you give us strength but we have so many questions and pray you'll answer us.  We want to know where you are and that you're OK.

I miss you Chris and I thought a note to you might be nice.  I used to tuck them in your lunch box and I still would if you were here.  Now I only get to write them on the balloons and lanterns I send up to you.  You used to write them to me too and I'm glad I have a few saved.  You cracked me up with your surprises sometimes.  Thank you for your engaging personality.  I'm glad God gave you to me.  I'm blessed and I love you for being you.

Thank you for reading.